Mandela´s way : my favourite chapters

"Courage is not the absence of fear,"
This is how is entitle the first chapter of this book and one of my favourite chapters . Can bravery be learned , what is its shelter? I mean, am I brave one because my heart is brave or because it is my mind? can someone be born brave or coward because of their genes or because of deities ¨whim `, and above all ,can I learn to be brave when I could describe myself as moderately coward ?
According to Mandela, being courageous is the way we react against fear, and how we overcome it . All of us feel fear , not only to tangible things such a physical pain,  but also to intangible ones such as dying or being dumped by the love of our lives . We also feel fear in advance because of situations that haven't happened yet but we live them down to the last detail feeling sadness, pain and dread . So feeling fear is normal , we just have to learn how to deal with it . I have already started to do my bit

" See the good in others"

When we read a book , usually a not very good book, just one of those that  does not   work  beings` inner world  we discover predictable characters that in a linear and bipolar structure  the scale goes from the adjective demoniacal from the adjective angelical , both opposite . But Mandela says that humans are complex creatures and that people have a myriad of motives . Nobody is purely good or purely evil . This chapter has been very important for me because I have learnt that if we try to understand and not to  judge , ito see the good things that someone has and not just the bad  one, we will be more happier as we won´t live constantly on defensive and hence, being happier .

"Know when to say no"

There are many situations in my life that should not happen as often as they happen, one question whose only answer is no , not only  because saying no makes me brave as a fear that I have overcome but because my hear says no, and it means that it is what I want. Saying no followed by an excuse of justification is easy , saying no to someone not vey important in your life rather simple , but what about to say no to someone who is important and you know that doing so you are destroying his /her hopes , that is quite difficult but sometimes people who loves us put too much pressure on us and we have to learn to do it , false hopes lead to feel deceived ,albeit it is difficult in the long run it will avoid a heap of trouble and I would add , anxiety and gastric ulcer.